Wednesday, March 30, 2005

First Post

Well here we be. I have decided to start this blog because I have absolutely nothing better to do. And I don't mean that in the way that everyone else does when they say that. Because in reality I have something better to do and that is anything. Anyway a few ground rules for the two of you reading this. This blog is not a diary, anyone who calls this a diary will be banished. Furthermore, the only scorn that will be tolerated on this website will be directed towards either nice people or sweet people. For example an adorable lotus flower like George W. Bush is fair game. While a mindless troll hussy like Mother Teresa is off limits. Confused? So am I, but then again I'm doing this from rehab, by which I mean Murray Hill. God, I am so awesome. This blog will be ostensibly about pop culture but secretely more about funny shit that happens to me. Well thats the plan anyway. In reality I doubt I have the stamina to post as much as I would like. Actually forget it, this is the last post ever. Good Night


Blogger "Magic" Gob Bluth said...

A couple of weeks ago, a man approached me with an idea so simple, so brilliant, that immediate steps were taken to bring this glorious vision to breathing, pulsing life. The man was no one then, fresh out of college and still wet behind the ears. That, of course, was then; now, Blog J. Blogerson emerges from opacity; tomorrow, we order more coke.

Were I to describe Blog, I would call him a large man; not just physically, but spiritually as well. Once, in high school, he asked "is it racist to say that some black people look like monkeys? cuz they do." I think that question still rings true today, in ways other than how he meant it. In retrospect, it is easy to answer the question, but what to say back then? The truth is that, yes, some black people do look like monkeys and yes, that is racist.

Blog was always the first to start drinking, and the last to wake up in the morning. Instead of asking what his country could do for him, he was much more concerned with matters of the heart and soul, matters like whether there was any vodka in the freezer and if there was, if he could finish it. He usually finished it. He was a small man, but a small man with a big heart and a sweet, sweet cocaine addiction. He brought us joy, sorrow, pain, suffering, annoyance and discomfort - but mostly joy - and he will be dearly missed.

He is, of course, not dead.

Blog on, Blog; blog on.

3:46 PM  
Blogger Mister Fedward Hyde said...

:: sniff sniff :: I smell liberals...

4:58 AM  
Blogger PJSchrag said...

Great post, sir.

Here are some other people it is okay to hate:

1. Ashton Kutcher and his Kaballah bracelet.

2. Jewish kids who have over-the-top Bar Mitzvahs.

3. Anyone who goes to graduate school and acts like they have it hard.

4. Murray Hill residents.

5. Any club owner who names his joint after a number or an adjective.

6. Any person that uses a season as a verb. Ie. "I summer in Southampton."

7. The O'Connell brothers: Both Jerry and Chris.

8. The Faul Gong folks who make every walk to work a bit more awkward than it should be.

9. People who RUN on to the subway right before it closes, only to make the doors re-open again, and take an extra minute of everyone's precious time.

10. Girls who say "I wish I had a gay friend!"

12:51 PM  

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