Thursday, March 31, 2005

The return of the mack

The New York Press continued this week what has become my favorite annual newspaper ritual, The 50 Most Loathsome New Yorkers Issue. For those of you living in a cardboard box for the past 8 years or certain parts of Long Island the New York Press is known by most as the esteemed P Paper, available for free on most NYC street corners. Anyway, in the noble traditions of this blog established yesterday I have decided to present to my loyal readers the First Annual Blog J. Blogerson Top 4 People Who Piss Me Off (um) List. Away we go.

4. Terri Schaivo - Is it just me or is this gluttonous camera hogs 15 minutes up already? I mean I can't turn on the T.V for one second without seeing Terri's pleading eyes practically screaming FILM ME. Well Terri your prayers have been answered, your a superstar and an icon to millions. Now please leave T.V. to the real stars like Justin Guarini.

3. Tsunami Victims - Wah wah wah I lost my house, wah wah wah - my boat was capsized, wah wah wah - I have no legs. Listen people, we all have problems, you don't see me complaining about the dwindling job market or 6 weeks of Lost repeats. It is clear to any rational minded person that God created the Tsunami as punishment for Gay Marriage so I think we all have to live with it and get on with our lives.

2. Curt Schilling - Listen up God boy I don't care how much Final Fantasy you play online your a douchbag hired gun with a bloody sock, no more. Nothing pisses me off more than stupid ass multi millionaire baseball players giving thanks to Allah for helping him pitch into the seventh. Ugh.

1. Laura Bush - Is there anything more hysterical in recent politics then George W. tapping Laura Bush to head an anti- Gang initiative? What the fuck is she going to do? Redecorate their living rooms? I guess she learned a lot of Scared Straight techniques when she was a librarian in Crawford, Texas. I have a feeling Laura might have watched the Green Mile one too many times and decided that most gang members are just big black medicine men with hearts of gold.

And there you have it the most schizophrenic Top 4 list ever. Be sure to check back next week for more time wasting nonsense.

Honorable Mention: Midhat "pocket 10s" Serbagi - You were 43% to win the hand you stupid bastard!


Blogger Mister Fedward Hyde said...

Your=YOU ARE. Or you'r if you must


Iosif Vissarionovich "Stalin"

3:27 PM  
Blogger "Magic" Gob Bluth said...

Fedward Hyde is so dumb it makes me laugh.

4:08 PM  
Blogger Buck Nasty said...

Now it's my turn to see say who I hate:

1) Jews - Listening to people who whine about being persecuted for thousands of years yet somehow control all the world's money and presses seems like somebody has a lack of attention problem. Also, bulldozing palestinians houses down is a great way to keep friendly relations.

2) Anyone who resides in New England - Your a fucking cancer to this country and have not contributed anything of value to this country since the American Revolution. If the second 9-11 happened in Boston I'd send a thank you note to Al Queda.

3) Fat people on the subway - Hey shithead, smiling when you try and squeeze in between two people to get a seat becuase you are too fat to suck it up is not a valid excuse. Anyone who has to use the cattle doors to get in the subway instead of the turnstiles should be shot on site.

5:19 PM  
Blogger Mister Fedward Hyde said...

That was clever, Gob Bluth. I bet you even came up with it all by yourself. You have all my sympathy and compassion, son.

8:08 AM  

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