Friday, April 01, 2005

Da April Fools

Ah April 1st, a day of mirth and merriment like no other. Well in the spirit of such merriment I have decided to present the Blog J Blogerson guide to April Fools. It is oftentimes hard to come up with the perfect April Fools gag and I believe any of these may come in handy:

For Mom: Tell your mother that you want to throw her a huge party for being a great mom. Tell you are going to do all the cooking and invite all her friends. Then when everyone gets there say you have a big annoncement to make. Announce that you have a crippling cocaine addiction and need help. April Fools!

For Grandma: Tell Granny that the short film that you have been working on is finally screening in New York and you want her to be the first guest. Then take her to a harcore gay porno film. Then leave her there. April Fools!

For Dad: Tell Dad that you got in a lot of trouble with a bookie and that you really need a huge loan so you don't get hurt. When he gives you all the money spend it all on crack and get high. April Fools!

For a Murray Hill resident: Go over to his house. Enter his closet. Burn all his striped shirts. April Fools!

Now while these may be a little tame for some of you, Its just a start. Clearly the best april fools "gags" cause deep emotional pain so be sure to keep that in mind.

2 Comments:

Blogger Buck Nasty said...

Sweet Sweet Foolin'
Here are some other ones that the kids can try:

For the Pregnant Woman - Show up at the Dr's office take her into a room and tell her that you are going to show her what the baby looks like. Proceed to un-wind a coat hanger and pull the baby out Medival Style. April Fools!!!!

Homeless People - Ask them if they need a coat to stay warm. If the answer is "Yes" proceed to douse them with lighter fluid and throw a lit match on top of their economically raped bodies. While they are screaming out in pain "why are you doing this to me?" You can say with confidence "You never said what kind of coat you wanted. I figure a coat of flames would keep you warm." April Fools!!!!

Ex-Girlfriends - Show up coked out of your mind to her parents house covered in blood while still maintaining an erection with a sawed-off shotgun. Yell something in the ballpark of "Your precious daughter won't be joining us for the rest of her life and now I'm gonna put my evil inside of one of you!!!" April Fools!!!!!!

3:06 PM  
Blogger OneYouCallGod said...

I got lost on the way in. Is this the sadistic megalomaniac support group?

7:38 PM  

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