Wednesday, March 29, 2006

The Sweet Stank of Success

Here's the thing, I am overflowing with brilliance. As follows are my ideas for t.v. shows that are all will be seen soon on your local PBS affiliate:

"Who Wants to Marry an Iraqi Nationalist" - This reality show would invite 10 lucky ladies to sunny Baghdad for a chance at wooing Hamach Hullafeen, an Iraqi burqua manufacturer and all around loveable lunatic. The catch is that the rejected contestants are sold into slavery.

"Jew or no Jew" In this takeoff on the popular gameshow a lucky Jew must decide whether or not the prices of area bagels are too high. Little does he know that the audience is voting on whether or not he is too Jewish to realize that they are all the correct price.

"Mormonia" - This drama will follow the adventures of a Mormon man named Lucas Feezil, and his quest to find the magic underwear that will keep the world safe from dragon attacks.

"Whose Cock is Michael Rapaport Sucking" - The idea for this investigative game show is to figure out how Michael Rapaport has remained on television. When said cock is discovered Michael Rapaport is immediately banished from television and his lover castrated. Guest starring Rupert Murdoch's wrinkly balls.

"Nick Lachey: A-OK" - This reality show will attempt to teach Nick Lachey how to read and write as well as help him learn basic arithmetic.

"Ray Pruit Video Jukebox": This music video show, hosted, produced, and directed by 90210 sensation Ray Pruit, will showcase Ray’s greatest hits. From “How Do You Talk to an Angel” to “Illiterate Hick Cowboy Jamboree” to “I am Awful” (the remix.) The show will also feature special guest Brian Austin Green and his smash hit “Suck my Dreadlocks.”